"I'm leaving in a couple hours for Knoxville, Tennessee. I'm going to
 visit some family over Christmas. This is where my grandmother lives.
 She has dementia, and is firmly convinced that a trio of hoodlums have
 tunneled through the ground to her house and are now residing in her
 utility closet."
"HEY!  There's actually FOUR of us!  And we're not hoodlums, we're thugs.
 Tell her to get it straight."
                        -- kife@ix.netcom.com, Lt. Wilkes